


I Can Do Better

by charliechick117



Series: How to Fix a Broken Thief [4]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicidal Thoughts, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-04
Updated: 2013-12-04
Packaged: 2018-01-03 12:18:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1070388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charliechick117/pseuds/charliechick117
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nori wasn't sure when the changed happened, all he remembers is waking up and finally (finally) having the weight of his beloved off his back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Can Do Better

**Author's Note:**

> I am finally back! I hope ya'll enjoy :)
> 
> Title is from "I Can Do Better" by Avril Lavigne.
> 
> Which was my anthem when I finally got over the horrible breakup and awful relationship that has been the inspiration for this fic.

Nori wished he could pinpoint the moment everything changed.  He almost wished he could look back and see the moment when he finally was free.  But, if he was being completely honest with himself, there would never be such a moment.  There would never be the one moment, that one turning point that would change everything.

No, this was a slow change, one that happened over years of struggle and suffering.

Even though he could not pinpoint the moment of change, he could pinpoint the moment he realized the change.

He had, miraculously, been able to sit through the long conferences that Dain frequently held.  He had long learned that the trick was to not look once at Thurk, but to stare at Dwalin and Bofur and focus on them.  His lover and his best friend.  Whenever Nori saw Thurk in the corridors, he took various shortcuts to avoid walking by each other.  He had taken every precaution to avoid this dwarf, and he had been successful.

Astonishingly, it worked.  Nori's heart wasn't sparking like before.  His skin didn't itch for the blade.  He hardly thought of throwing himself off the battlements.  He focused on his paintings, mostly trying to get Dwalin's profile just right.  He taught his recruits how to tie knots and read the language.  He foiled a few plans to kill Dain and had a marvelous chase through the market to catch a thief.  (Nori tried not to think of the irony of the situation).

It was only in the past year that the change had really begun to show, when Nori was really able to let things go again.  He walked around Erebor with his head held high.  He didn't feel the need to hurt himself anymore.  He was stronger and better and happier.  He still painted, managing to sell a few of them when he did.  He tied knots for every street corner of the city.  He had a brand new tattoo, one that still stung when Dwalin pulled him a little too close.  At the base of his spine, a dark little knot.  Power.

It was a beautiful spring day.  He had been out with Ori, looking through the gardens of Dale, when something hit him like a beam of light.

Nori felt his chest expand with something so bright and pure that it almost lifted him off his feet.  His head spun and he couldn't quite catch his breath.  He was infused with sunshine and it was so powerful he had to stop.

"Nori?" Ori turned and looked over his shoulder.

He couldn't speak.  He was trying to breathe.  It felt as though his heart was pumping liquid gold through his body and it left him feeling like he was  _glowing_.  He felt like he could fly, like he could conquer the world.  His mind shot back to Thurk, to the one who tore his heart out, and he didn't feel a thing.  Nori did not care about Thurk at all in that moment.  With a strange perfect clarity, the kind that comes from sunlight, he saw all the signs.  The way Thurk never once gave him a single commitment.  The strange look Thurk got when Nori confessed his love.  He could see, finally, that there was never anything between them.

Nori felt like the sun.  Powerful and brilliant and stunning.  It didn't matter, anymore, what Thurk did to him.  That was in the past.  Nori had Dwalin now.  Strong, sweet, loving, perfect Dwalin.  He didn't need to be pining over someone who he meant nothing to.

Ori's soft hands held onto his and he looked up at Nori with wide eyes.

"Are you okay?" Ori asked, worry thick in his voice.

Nori gave a breathless chuckle.  He was beyond alright.  He was magnificent.  He was glorious.  He was powerful.

"Yeah," Nori said, unbidden tears springing to his eyes.  "I'm alright."

"Are you sure?" Ori pushed, tightening his grip on Nori's fingers.  "Do I need to get Dwalin?".

"No," Nori laughed, "I'll get him."

Nori ran to the room he shared with Dwalin, the room they had built together.  The home they built together.  He saw Dwalin, lying on the bed resting from a hard day of work.  Nori, his sunshine heart swelling, stepped forward and slid next to Dwalin, trailing a hand up his chest.

"Mmm, stop," Dwalin mumbled.  "Tickles."

"You won't believe this," Nori said.

"What?" Dwalin opened one eye.

"I'm free," Nori smiled wide.  "I'm finally free.  Thurk has no hold over me.  I'm going to talk with him tomorrow."

"Are you sure?" Dwalin stiffened next to him.

"I don't love him anymore," Nori said.  "I don't know when it happened or even how, but I don't love him.  It's time for me to face the music."

"Are you sure?" Dwalin asked again.  "You don't have to do this if you're not ready.  You don't have to force yourself too quickly into this."

"I'm ready," Nori leaned over, one hand sliding down Dwalin's chest.  "I have you, don't I?  My big bad guard if things go wrong.  The only one who ever reached through to me."

"If things go wrong then I'll have him beheaded," Dwalin swore, his hands on Nori's face.

"Things won't go wrong," Nori's hand slipped around Dwalin's thighs.  "I'm meeting him on my terms.  I am victorious."

Dwalin's arms snaked around Nori's back and pulled them flush together. 

* * *

 Nori dressed like he was going into battle.  He did his hair in a simple braid, the one he wore when he first met Thurk.  His knives were on full display at his hips.  A knot was weaved to the end of his braid.  Destruction.  He made sure to get to the Council room first.  Bofur said that Thurk was always there early and that he would do his best to keep the other council members busy.  Nori owed Bofur a wife for all the trouble he'd gone through for him.

The council room was empty.  Nori took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

This was it.  His stomach was twisting into knots.  It had been so many long years since he'd spoken with Thurk and they didn't leave on the best of terms.  Nori had given himself to Thurk.  He let Thurk rule his life for the past years.  He had gone through hell.  He'd been in the pit of misery and endless suffering.  He had stood at the cliff side and considered jumping.  He marred his skin forever because of Thurk.  Nori had lost decades because of Thurk.  He almost lost Dwalin, the best thing that ever happened to him.

But not anymore.  Nori was not going to let Thurk walk all over him any more.  Nori was going to take a stand.  He was going to cut this final thread that kept him tied to Thurk once and for all.

The door opened and Nori turned.  Thurk was there, his black hair perfect as always.  He looked up and his eyes gazed over Nori slowly.

"Can I help you?" Thurk asked politely.

Nori felt his blood boil with rage.  Here was the dwarf who ruined his life.  Here was the dwarf who pushed him to suicide and ruined every possibility of a relationship ever.  Here was the dwarf who tore Nori's heart from his chest.  Here was the dwarf who had no memory of Nori.

"That remains to be seen," Nori said darkly.  "Tell me you remember me.  Even just a part."

"I don't..." Thurk looked confused.

"Just try," Nori said.  "Humor me, _lover_."

Thurk gave Nori a strange look.  Nori was praying in his heart to the Maker that Thurk would at least remember something.  Even if it was just a little thing.  Thurk squinted and then gasped.

"Nori," Thurk said breathlessly.  "My partner in crime."

"Yeah, that's me," Nori said.

"But... how?" Thurk asked, standing and taking a step to Nori.  Nori took a step back.

"Do you remember leaving me?"

Thurk's face changed from shocked and sympathetic to disbelieving and mocking.

"You're still hung up on that?" Thurk said.  "It's been years, Nori.  Get over it."

"You were everything to me," Nori said.

"I know I was," Thurk said.  "Why do you think I kept you for so long?  You would do anything for me and were too blinded by your feelings to see the truth."

"And what was that?" Nori asked politely.

"That I was just using you the entire time," Thurk's face turned predatory.  "Did you really think I had any feelings for you?  Did you honestly believe you had a chance with me?  Please, Nori, you're just not that good."

"That's a lie," Nori said suddenly, the sunshine in his hear pounding through his body.

"Is it?" Thurk asked, his voice soft and low, just like Nori remembered it.

"I am more than good," Nori said.  "I am brilliant.  I am wonderful and I deserve so much better than a bastard like you!"

"You don't deserve anything," Thurk laughed.  "You are just a broken, pathetic, useless thief."

"No, I'm not," Nori said, standing up straight.  "I am so much more than that."

"Why?" Thurk sneered.  "Because of Dwalin?"

"Yes," Nori said, his chest inflating with light at the sound of Dwalin's name.

"He's gonna leave you," Thurk said.  "You know that right?  Everyone leaves you eventually.  You can't be loved, Nori."

"I don't care!" Nori said loudly.  "You can say whatever you want, because you're going to say whatever you want.  You're gonna believe what you want.  I can't change that.  But I can change me.  And I don't care what you have to say because you are NOTHING to me.  You are bitter and cruel and you don't love anyone.  Not even your pretty lass."

Thurk gave a roar and lunged for Nori.  Nori dodged it easily, years of working together having done their course.  Thurk pulled out a knife and lunged again.  Nori already had his blade in hand and blocked, pushing Thurk to the side.  The doors flew open and in rushed Dwalin, Bofur, Dori and Ori.  They stared at the scene; Thurk and Nori in stance with knives drawn.

At the sight of Dwalin, the sun in Nori's chest swelled to incomprehensible proportions.  Dwalin looked scared and furious, his cheeks flushed brilliant red.  He must've run all the way from their home.

"Dwalin," Nori said, walking towards him.

Dwalin's face softened and he reached for Nori.

Then there was searing pain in his side.  He looked down and saw Thurk's knife sticking out of his side, blood welling up and dripping from the wound.  Dwalin howled like a wild beast and jumped onto Thurk, the sounds of his knuckle-dusters on flesh echoing in the room.

This pain  _hurt_.  Nori forgot what this kind of hurting was.  He'd spent so long in that deep abyss where pain cut through the thundercloud in his chest, he forgot the feeling of the sharp sting of pain.  He fell to the floor and his vision blurred slightly.

Then Dori was next to him.  Strong Dori with his gentle arms lifting Nori and running.

"Hold on, little brother," Dori whispered, running through Erebor.  "Oin will fix you up right, but you must hold on."

"It hurts," Nori said.  "So strange.  It hurts."

"You've been stabbed, of course it hurts," Dori said gently.

"I mean the bad hurt, not the good kind," Nori said, trying to focus on Dori's strong arms and his steady heartbeat instead of the throbbing pain in his side.

Then Nori lost all thought.

* * *

He was in absolute comfort.  Perhaps he should get stabbed more often.  He was in the medical wing, he knew that much.  Just like he knew that it was Dwalin sitting next to him, holding his hand.

Nori opened his eyes.  It was clean and sterile and, yes, Dwalin was sitting next to him, snoring softly, hands intertwined.

"Morning, sweetheart," Nori whispered.

Dwalin woke up and blinked up blearily at Nori.  Nori smiled softly.

"He's gone," Dwalin mumbled.  "Dain sent him away when he heard he stabbed you."

"Gone?" Nori repeated.

"Yeah," Dwalin smiled.  "How are you feeling?"

Nori's chest inflated and he felt sunlight streaming through his body.

"I feel wonderful."

Dwalin leaned forward and kissed him.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, my ex was not nearly as bad as Thurk in this story, thank goodness.
> 
> Happy endings for all :D


End file.
